Raising the bar: 1999-2000

It's the fall of 99. I had just returned from the Tom Sawyer tour that spring. I worked for Conflict Resolution Theatre that summer with the Department of Recreation. It was run by Judy Nelson who I worked with me at Peace Theatre. They had creative differences and she left them and started her own troupe call Conflict Resolution Theatre funded by the Department of Recreation. So I left Peace Thatre too out of support for her. Peace Theatre actually offered me more money. Anyway, that fall I re-enrolled back in Communtity College. I set a goal for myself for the upcoming theatre season: Top my accomplishments from last year! When I took the year off from college I set very high expectations for myself. I then went out and accomplished more than I even anticipated! I had done two national tours! I never expected that! I felt like I proved my point. That I am a signicant talent who could hold his own and even stand out from my counterparts. So I raised the bar. I had to top it some how. In July of '99 I had an audition for the Rainbow Company. They were the children's theatre outreach program for the acclaimed Prince Music Theatre. One of the largest theatres in town. The Rainbow Company was run by the late Ricardo Martin. I had three call backs! I even passed the dance audition but I wasn't cast. At this point in my career I took audtions hard. I got very excited when I got a call back and was crushed when I didn't land the gig. So I took this one hard too. It was a blow to my self-esteem. You are constantly asking yourself 'am I good enough?' 'why don't they like me?' 'Am I as talented as I thought?'. I now tell people acting is an illness. An illness consisting of easily inflated and deflated egos. Chronic insecurity. Yet we intentionally put ourselves in the line of fire of criticism, subjectivity and ridicule so we can have short lived and often insincere moments of applause and praise. We need to be contantly reafirmed of just how good we are from directors, audiences and fellow thespians only to still doubt ourselves. I was in denial about this when it came to myself. Only now do I acknowllege it. The only time I am genuinely, supremely and fearlessly confident is when I am on stage performing. To me those are the only moments in this business that make sense. Everything else is an absolute contradiction! As a advid believer in logic, in a way, me being an actor is an contradiction. It took me a while to realise this. My next big audition was for the historic Hedgerow Theatre. They were doing a family production of Puss in Boots. The story about the match making cat. I took the R3 out to Media PA. The theatre is hidden in the woods off the side of the road. I read for Puss and then sang "My Corner of the Sky" from Pippin. I thought I had a weak audition and didn't expect to hear anything. A week later Paul Kuhn the director called and offered me the role of Puss! The Hedgerow Theatre was a well respected theatre in the Philadelphia area and I was honored to be offered the title lead role. The cast included: Joshua Browns (the Ogre) he was hillarious! Matthew Daciuk (Pierre), Grey Kelsy (the Quenn), Mike Fallon (the King), Elisabeth Audley ( Gabrielle) and Natalie Gapari (Marie). The director and writer Paul Kuhn liked me alot and even wrote additional songs for me in the show. The show wasn't really a 'musical' but more like a play with music. I had three songs. I enjoyed my run at the Hedgerow. It was a very unique theatre company with it's own distinct culture. I would stay over night sometimes at the Hedgrow House instead of going back home so I could do the Saturday matinee performances. It would have been a drag to take the two hour train and bus ride if I just to come back early the next morning. Toward the end of the run of the show the Hedgrow offered me an acting apprenticeship. A full time acting gig! I turned it down because it only paid thirty bucks a week! Plus you didn't just perform. You had to teach, stage manage, do costumes, lighting, teach the kids theatre programs all for only 30 bucks a week!! I was still flattered they offered me the gig though. A week or so later my manager called me to tell about an audition for an independent film titled "The Roundtable". This season was really starting to shape up!